Dear friends, allow me to explain: (If you would like to avoid mind f*ckage, please scroll down to the *)
I recently had my camel stolen by a gang of gorillas secretly working for Lindsay Lohan somewhere over the rainbow. Because of this, I was unable to blog as it was necessary for me to be transported quickly and efficiently via time machine back to LL’s birth and stop it from happening. Along the way I met Joseph Gordon Levitt pretending to be Bruce Willis and became immensely confused/distracted. Though I was too late to stop LL’s conception I was able to find and save the last pair of unicorns on Earth and return to the present with them.
Back in 2013 I became a certified unicorn breeder, and for a period of 2 years, 3 months, and 13 days, the world was filled with unicorns prancing about, emitting methane cancelling gasses and thereby saving planet Earth as we know it from destruction by global warming. Unicorn tears also turned out to be highly effective in healing wounds and broken bones, though this initiative was shut down by PETA’s claims of animal cruelty towards the method of tear harvesting through forcing unicorns to watch The Notebook on repeat.
All of a sudden, I awoke to Joseph Gordon Levitt profusely apologizing for having accidently mixed up his movies: I had actually just experienced a dream within a dream within a dream (potentially within a time loop, and, poor boy, he’s clean forgotten just exactly which day of Summer it is.) As you can imagine, I’m still not fully convinced this is reality, but no matter:
I woke up to Joseph Gordon Levitt.
*ANYWAYS. Though he will still need to be in my care for the next few weeks, and though he is terribly confused as to which movie we are in right now, he did succeed in planting an Inceptiony idea in my head and here she is:
31 Days of Summer
In which, should camel-napping crisises be avoided, I will BLOG EVERYDAY SERIOUSLY I WILL I PROMISE YOU HAVE MY WORD THIS TIME FOR REAL from July 1st to July 31st.
Which, if I have my math correct, is 31 days of Summer.
A 31 day trial of the absurdity that is I, Kat, and you don’t even have to remember to cancel any subscriptions before August to avoid credit card bills. Win. Win. Win.