So you had a bad day…
Maybe you got kicked off of American Idol Circa 2006.
Heaven forbid, perhaps your cat died.
…Or you washed a pink sock with your whites
…Or you didn’t get THE BIG THING you were hoping for
…Or your boss’s bitchemia (cancer of the personality…usually terminal) went into remission.
Whatever the case, it was a slumpy, frumpy, dumpy day, and now you need to be cheered up. That’s what I’m here for! So climb off the ledge and out of the doldrums, and read on for 10 CHEERY CHEERER UPPERS.
1. Melt things
I have what I like to call, “Wimpy Pyromania”. Burning things is scary, melting things is…AWESOME. Get a big pot, put it on the stove and just MELT STUFF. I recommend chocolate, and lots of it. Add in some condensed milk or cream or buttermilk, maybe some icing sugar, and after that you can throw in whatever your heart desires. Cookie chunks, marshmallows (are super fun because they make little yelpy squeals as they DIE), peanut butter, pudding…go for it. It could very well be inedible, but no matter, it’s the melting that releases the stress.
2. Use up all that bath shit
You know when people don’t know what to buy for gifts and they get you bath shit? You know what I mean; bath bombs, bath salts, bubble bath, shower gel, etc. Yeah. You know how it’s just sitting around your house unused? USE IT. Just have a bath bonfire. Go to town. I dare you.
3. Reply to “‘No Reply” addresses
Be a little rebellious. After all, haven’t you unsubscribed from Babycenter.com’s email list like…A THOUSAND TIMES? (I have…and for the love of my womb, Babycenter, I did not have a child and I would like to stop getting breastfeeding tips and weekly updates on my “baby girl.”) Write whatever you want. It’s not so much WHAT you reply, but mostly the act of replying itself. Thrilling.
4. Swing therapy
Wait until it’s dark out, head to your nearest playground, hop on a swing, plug in your headphones, put on “Pachebel’s Canon”, and take off. Unleash the epic.
5. Paint your nails obnoxious colours
Because you can. NO. YOU REALLY CAN. I’m talking a different colour on every nail. Make sure you laugh like a maniac while you’re doing this. It’s like a very controlled Britney Spearsesque mental breakdown. You can remove nailpolish. You can’t unshave your head.
6. Get a quote
Go to the quote section on Pinterest and be prepared to feel uplifted. And then follow “So Help Me Kat.”
7. Take purposefully ugly selfies
While normally I do not condone over selfie-ing, under drastic circumstances, an ugly selfie photoshoot can really pull you out of a slump. How many multiple chins can you make? What would your face look like if Grandma really got run over by a reindeer? What fun shapes can you make with your eyebrows? It’s like gymnastics for your face.
8. Kittens, penguins, and sloths
These are the “Golden Three” happy-inducing animals to watch on youtube.
9. Write someone a letter
A thank-you letter. Because no matter how awful people can seem on your bad days, there’s always at least one person you are thankful for. Write them a letter and let them know. There’s so much grace found in being a sincere, good person on a bad day.
10. Start over
Tomorrow is a new day, and it’s yours for the taking. Give up on caring what others think; what do you think? If something you’re doing isn’t working, do something else. Start again, and again, and again, until you find what you love to do. It will be worth it.
This is the only life that’s yours, guaranteed. Whatever you dream of doing, DO IT DO IT DO IT. Chase the things you want, become the people you admire, and be sure to laugh at every silly little failure.