Halloween: The Miley Cyrus of Holidays

I love holidays. I adore them. I’m totally pro-holiday.

But if there’s one holiday that makes me a tad bit uncomfortable, it’s Halloween.final

Let me explain. Christmas as a child is magical. Christmas as an adult fills you with the nostalgia of childhood and the warmth of tradition. Christmas is an all ages event. Maybe when you’re 85 you can make it about spiking the eggnog and passing out to avoid listening to your grandchildren’s squeals, but for the most part, Christmas is for families, for friends; for everyone from all walks of life.

But I will never forget my grade 12 school (but not school-sanctioned) Halloween party. Though I love ’em to death, most of my friends went as “that kind” of sailor, or superhero, or cartoon character. What did I go as? Audrey Hepburn. Audrey Hepburn, who would be rolling in her grave had she in fact found herself in that same club full of drunken teenage slutty ninja turtles.

Because, as I learned, Halloween is the Miley Cyrus of holidays. It so drastically morphs from a holiday of trick-or-treating into a drunken party for half-naked adults. And, I mean, you don’t HAVE to go get your drink on at the club with the frighteningly spandex clad version of the cast of Spongebob Squarepants, but you certainly AREN’T going to get away with trick-or-treating past the age of 19.

No, no, I’m not saying that one year you just get kicked from getting candy at the door of your neighbour’s house to getting frisked at the door to a club.  But there’s a definite pressure about the holiday to do so. You either celebrate “grown-up” Halloween, or “kid” Halloween, and when you identify as neither child or adult, it’s kind of an awkward holiday. At 15 or 16 you’re shamed if you try to celebrate either version.

That being said, I love Halloween. Or at least, the homemade balance of Halloween that works for me. I’m all about cheesy movies and candy corn. I’m all for pumpkin carving and T.V. specials, and I’ll admit to appreciating a sloppy celebration here or there. I promise you I won’t try and go begging for candy, but I’d also like to highlight the dressing-up, instead of the stripping-down. And hey, according to crazy ladies preaching the dangers of such a “satanic” celebration, we’re all going to Hell no matter how we celebrate the damn thing.

Fail Friday #1: The Great…Pumpkin?

If you haven’t been on Pinterest yet, YOU ARE MISSING OUT. Everything that is cool and good and right in the world can be found there.

But basically…the food section. Am I right?

Anyways, last Halloween my dance company hosted a Halloween fundraiser with a haunted house, games and prizes, dancing, and a cake walk.

I was browsing Pinterest for fun ideas for said cake walk, and saw this:

pumpkin win

I thought: How clever! How fun! How simple! I can do that!

And um…this was the result.

pumpkin fail

Pinterest: 1 Kat: 0

I remember my mom coming into the kitchen just as a chunk of the cake detached and splatted onto the floor in all it’s orange icingy glory.

“Well,” she began, trying to contain her laughter, “you could always put some gummy worms in it and turn it into a ‘rotten pumpkin’ kind of thing?”

And that’s when I knew I had failed.

Needless to say, I spared my cake from being the last picked at the cake walk and learned that dear Pinterest can be VERY MISLEADING. (Though this leads to hilarious moments. Some. Fuxking. Hilarious. Moments.)

Can you spot 5 differences between these two photos?

Can you spot 5 differences between these two photos?

Oh friends, there is nothing funnier than failure.

Hipster (Dorothy) Halloween How-To

This post is part of the “Blogging from A-Z April Challenge”! The “H” themed inspiration for today is “hipster.” Enjoy!

Yes, I know it’s April. But it’s never to early to plan your Halloween costume! That being said, it’s possible you’ll run into a suitable situation for playing dress-up before Halloween, anyways. Like Mondays. Or Tuesdays. Wednesdays are good days for dressing up…you get the idea.

This was costume creation last year. After all, the only thing better than Dorothy Gale of Kansas, is Dorothy Gale of Hipster Pretentiousness!

(If you’re confused, there are a bunch of “hipster” definitions on urbandictionary.com, but you’d probably do better by just google image searching: “hipster”, or going to some obscure coffee shop in Brooklyn.)

Feel free to follow this as loosely as you like, or add any other details I didn’t think of!

You can put the outfit together however you want, but I used:

Red shoes
Gingham dress
White knee socks
Fake thick, black rimmed glasses
Beanie

You’ll also need:

A backpack or bag to carry “Toto” in
“Toto”- I used a stuffed animal cat (with a felt moustache pinned on), because being a dog is overrated
Cardboard sign to hang off of your backpack that reads: “Emerald City or bust”
Pins to put onto your dress (or backpack, etc.)

Pins:

Every good hipster needs a good set of pins! I made Dorothy’s on Photoshop and they’re available here for you to print to use yourself. I just printed and cut them out, traced their shape onto cardboard, glued them onto the cardboard, and glue-gunned safety pins onto the back of the cardboard so that I could pin them onto the costume.

You may have to size the pins yourself before you print them so that they come out the size you want.

Put your costume together and have fun pretending you’re the hippest ster in Oz.

 

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