Welcome to How to Be Graceful!



What WHAAAT. Sorry for any confusion. I got bored with …So Help Me Cats and decided “How to Be Graceful” to be a more fitting title for this…this odd collection/clusterfuck/Grandma’s button bag of thoughts and feelings.

And let me clarify that I am in no way trying to use this blog to teach you helplessly clumsy people how to be graceful…HA. Quite the opposite. I don’t know how to be graceful. I have may have 17 years of ballet training, but I also fail daily, and SO INCREDIBLY at the most basic spatial awareness/coordination-involving tasks that I would be picked last for the amputated turtle’s parkour team.

That being said, I think that true grace is a fine balance of kindness, selflessness, honesty, humor, and confidence. (Ugh, that sounds so terribly like a Miss America pageant, but you now what I mean.) And while I don’t have enough of that balance to pull off even a single metaphorical pirouette, I think it’s one of the most important things to strive for.

Don’t worry, cats are some of the most graceful creatures I can imagine. Their presence on here moving forward will definitely not be lacking.


Day 15(.5)-UPDATEROO

.5?! Yes, yes, I’m incredibly generous/I feel guilty using up a day’s post to remind you of what’s already been posted.

Amount of posts I’m allowed to publish in one day?
The limit does not exist.

First order of business: Joseph Gordon-Levitt is still safe with me, and doing much better at that. Though he does like to constantly remind me that the challenge title, “31 Days of Summer” is the most half-assed attempt at a clever and relevant movie reference…

 Secondly, it has come to my attention that for some reason, 53 PEOPLE ARE FOLLOWING THIS BLOG. And maybe that’s not a LOT, but it just dawned on me that 53 people are notified of every word I write. So, sincerely, thank you, thank you; I don’t care how many people any of you have murdered, you’re all absolutely lovely in my eyes.


SEE. That or my mom created 53 accounts…wouldn’t put it past her.

Also, tell me about yourselves, because it can get rather boring talking about myself all the time and I want to know your favourite colours, and your favourite ninja turtles, and where you’re from, and your thoughts on the possibility of the existence of unicorns and other mythical creatures, and how high your tolerance is for run on sentences on a scale of  1-10, and if you’re often wearing matching socks and if so, what your strategies  are for accomplishing said FEET FEAT etc. etc.

OKAY. Comment that all out of your systems if you like, and if you’re too paranoid to answer any questions because you have murdered 1 or more persons, I understand, that’s alright too.

Now, without further ado…links to catch you up on the documentation of my insanity.

Previously on …So Help Me Cats:

Day 1: In which I am too hipster for New Year’s resolutions…so I make them in July.

Day 2: In which I present you with fun Canadian facts that WILL BE ON THE TEST. (Just kidding, there’s no test…or is there?)

Day 3: In which I invite you to my Lion King themed funeral…date TBD.

Day 4: I which “Excellence in Sing-A-Longs” and nine other things get added to my resume.

Day 5: In which I display my Anti-Skill Set.

Day 6: In which you can learn how to make a killing off of smashing things.

Day 7: In which I explain how uncomfortable and worried selfie-takers make me feel.

Day 8: In which I end a relationship of over 14 years.

Day 9: In which I tell you all my secrets…such as where I buy groceries.

Day 10: In which in the name of lost love, things get momentarily metaphorical.

Day 11: In which saying ‘no’ gets so good, you’ll never want to say ‘yes’ again.

Day 12: In which I endorse insanity in the name of turning that frown upside down.

Day 13: In which I explain the book series that made my life one big Caturday.

Day 14: In which gravity doesn’t exist for caution sign characters.

Day 15: In which I solemnly swear I am Caucasian.


Alrighty, get yourself all caught up, and we’ll keep this party going.